Insomnia

Laying perfectly still, listening to the sounds around me, breathing, thinking, thinking, thinking in circles.

Round and round they run in my mind, never coming to an end, never giving me peace.

Laying perfectly still, feeling, feeling, being afraid to fall asleep, afraid of the dreams, afraid of emotions they will certainly stir.

Getting up, coming down, turning on the machine, sitting down and starting to type... Again...

Feeling hollow and frail, how could this happen, what have you done? 

You did what you had to, from your point of view, you've shown no mercy, but maybe it was your mercy to do what you did?

So long ago, but still fresh in my mind, echoing, screaming, tearing me apart...

Sleep, deep, dreamless, sound sleep.... My kingdom for such a thing!